If it was smaller it be my motto C:

"A smile costs nothing but gives much. It enriches those who receive without making poorer those who give. It takes but a moment, but the memory of it sometimes lasts forever. None is so rich or mighty that he cannot get along without it and none is so poor that he cannot be made rich by it. Yet a smile cannot be bought, begged, borrowed, or stolen, for it is something that is of no value to anyone until it is given away. Some people are too tired to give you a smile. Give them one of yours, as none needs a smile so much as he who has no more to give." ~Author Unknown

Honestly, I'm not that bad

Hahah. I'm refering to all my emotional statement down there. Trust me I'm not that emo. It's just when I am upset that i write in hear usually so yeah.... I'm generally a happy person haha. but anywho.
Oh so i though i'd inform that my art is better than ever and that i cut my friend Tessa's hair! and no, i did not ruin it; it looks great.

Coming clean -- Chase Coy

I'm a coward,

I hide behind all of these delicate lies that I sing,
but I'm trying to come clean.

I'm so lonely,

Surrounded by people that know me but don't know a thing,
so I'm trying to come clean.

And every relationship I've ever been in has fallen apart at the seams,
and I'm just afraid I've been singing about love
but ill never find out what it means.
And if i was honest about what the problem is I'd have to admit that its me.

I'm just trying to live up to all that you want me to be.

I'm a lier
I sing pretty things but I never quite say what I mean,
so I'm trying to come clean.
I'm so sorry
I know that I can't take it back know I can't change a thing
so I'm trying to come clean.
And every relationship I've ever been in has fallen apart at the seams,
and I'm just afraid I've been singing about love
but ill never find out what it means.
And if i was honest about what the problem is I'd have to admit that its me
I'm just trying to
live up to all that you want me to be

Always the one with the shortest riegn

yeah, i know thats completely pestimistic and probably an untrue statement but that wont stop me from thinking it. You know when something good is in your grasps; how great that feels. But, as always, that needs to change so someone else can have a chance with it. Sure i have had a handfull of goodness before but it always seems my "goodness" lasts a little less longer than everyone else.
like for one YW we had an awsome presidency; it was like they just focused on all of us individually, thus focusing on me. but it wasnt long till that changed. We had three new people called. my little handfull of goodness, gone. So i know our president is going to be great, but i have a feeling i'm going to get on her nerves. And i think its great one of them was called b/c one of the girls really needs her there and i know that girl is stoked and im happy for that. And I think its absolutly fantastic that we have a convert in with us; it will be absolute great expierence for her. But i wish went for me a little bit longer. I'm not saying i dont want it to go for the other girls too but i want to be included too and thats just not going to happen.
I know i sound selfish and completly awful but i cant help it; im in nature a selfish creature. I just want that handfull a little longer; something to call my own. im sick of being the person on the sidelines

Goodness People...

Why are people so vile? yes i know i'm one of them but i like to think im on the better half of it all. It really bugs me people beat down on other people. Yes, i have been in a situtation where i did not like a person and had talked to some one else about it. But i usually know what their probably is and i get over it in a day. But some people! All the time they go behind their back and completly bad mouth them. It makes me sick! And my own mother does it too! i have to leave the room b/c it makes me feel like punching a wall. If you say crap about them, whos to say they wont say crap about you? i know i know just b/c you change your attitude about somthing doesnt mean the world is going to change but i like to think that another person is thinking the way i do. Its like how i treat my mother. When i feel like going all teenager statis i try to think about how i would want my kids to act towards me and believe me it does make huge difference. Im sorry that wasnt very interesting; i just needed to vent.

An expert from a book i'm writing _Superhuman_

yes i know the title is not all that great but its all i got haha. :]


"Normal! What a concept that doesn't even exist! Despite its lack of excision my curiosity can't help to wonder what it would be like. Would I trade my life for a "normal" one. Probably not. But then again I wouldn't know because I have never felt or seen this... "normality"
Nobody was or ever going to be "normal" but i was always farther away then most. My "abnormality" was the kind that was so dense you could taste it. Not quite bitter sweet but more of a semi-sweet flavor. I cannot complain, i guess you could say. It was a flavor of my choosing. I was given no rulebook for my "abnormality" -- a life I had no consent in; my parents didn't even have a say -- so i made my own guidelines.
It included in brassing my "abnormality" but it also included secrecy of my "abnormalities"; putting on a mask of "normality". A completely unrealistic mask that everybody seems to believe. It sometimes make me question the human race. Is it because of stupidity, lack of interest or even fear that keeps them blind. Even though i considered myself a human I never stuck myself with the "them" category. I was not one of them. I was a hybrid. Half human half... not so human. Not that I considered one of my parents more humane than the other, it was just how we were made. We were different. We were Superhuman"

so yeah there it is... :]

Music

Music. When music plays, life is born. It’s born in people around you. It’s born in the instrument it speaks through. It is born in the master, though music has no true master. Supposedly made by man, but only fit for God. It was never known why music brings such life to us; only the music knows. It brings us in, you can feel it; you can taste it. It brings life that we may have never known otherwise. It brings experiences both tangible and indescribable. If only music could be seen. We close our eyes in an attempt to see what is rushing through us; surely only true beauty could do this. We are blind to its beauty. It was not meant for us to see. That was only way we would ever truly believe in it. Our clouded eyes will never be able to bring injustice to this immortal, invisible deity. Only concealed, but always there. Always with us. Always in us. If there was only one true blessing in this life, I would believe it would be music. It helps us live. It makes us feel something inside. It makes us happy. It makes us angry. It makes us love. Music must be the only true way of showing love for another; maybe that was God’s intent. Sometimes there are words, sometimes there are none. But yet it speaks with a potent voice; there is no way of escaping it and yet there is no reason to escape. Music fills the empty words with something much more substantial. This life never dies, it can never die. Music is imperishable. As long as we live, and are conscious, it will never die. Life will always be born through music if we continue to give it life. It is its cycle. Music can never die…

love, Marcy